Of all the kooky, paranoid conspiracy-induced neuroses one can become afflicted with, numerology could be the easiest to fall victim to. Consider how many numbers we deal with, just a short list: obsession with weight, fear of aging, bank account, box office, penis size, waist size. Artists: quill size, canvas size, brush strokes. Poets: syllables, lines, words. Music: notes, time, syncopation. All have very important numbers attached. (67 words)

There are many things that fascinate, but one of the most interesting could be the strange fear that many religious institutions have of numbers. The conspiracy theory believed by many religious followers that the symbiotic relationship between citizens of the world and numbers, in particular credit cards and social security are in fact marks of the devil, ala 666 the number of the beast; a conspiracy all the more interesting due to the fact that most religions consider the actual practice of numerology to belong to the occult. (87 words)

Now, if you continue to paddle along this muddy, twisting stream-of-consciousness, you will wind up at the feet of the world famous heavy metal band Iron Maiden. Where do you begin with an album like THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST? Released in early spring of 1982, it proved to be a breakthrough album for Iron Maiden, going to #1 in the UK. (62 words)

With tracks like RUN TO THE HILLS, a grinding indictment of the European treatment of Native Americans; INVADERS, with it’s spoken word introduction taken from Revelation 13:18, plays like a darker version of Vincent Price’s voice work on Michael Jackson’s THRILLER; CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED inspired by the classic sci-fi thrillers VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED and CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED; and of course the title track THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST, a gloriously giddy song that may not have the overly serious ambition to scare that you’ll find with Marilyn Manson, or the street cred charisma of Ozzy, nevertheless THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST is a fantastically entertaining song. Dare you escape the 4 minute 50 second running time without being enchanted by such lyrics,

The night was black was no use holding back

'Cos I just had to see was someone watching me

In the mist dark figures move and twist

Was this all for real or some kind of hell

666 the number of the beast

Hell and fire was spawned to be released,

of course the album was panned by mainstream critics, and was protested by religious groups, giving the album a luster that all true rock `n roll bands long for: controversy. (205 words)

The album has recently gained a certain amount redemption in the form of a stellar placement of it’s title song on the video game “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4" and #7 on VH1's Top 40 Greatest Heavy Metal Songs Of All-Time. (39 words)

Where as many music fans would place NUMBER OF THE BEAST on a par with SPINAL TAP’s “SHARK SANDWICH” or as it was famously re-named “Shit-Sandwich”, Iron Maiden to their credit always seemed to be in on the joke, knowing full well that there’s nothing conservative Americans fear more than their kids flirtin’ with the devil, thereby leaving the kids no choice but to lap it up, like virgin’s blood from a spoon. (74 words)

Although it’s easy to see how someone could become obsessed with numbers, the way one would become obsessed with astrology or beanie babies, is there anything sillier in all of religiosity than the fear of a number: the anxious millions huddled together on their couches on New Year’s Eve 1999, waiting to see if Dick Clark’s Rockin’ Eve turns into Dick Clark’s Rockin’ End of the World. Or the significance of 9/11, as a number, as opposed to a day on the calender. Consider the horror if the terrorists had carried out their attacks on July 11th instead of September 11th; would we ever be able to enjoy a Big Gulp the same way again? Would we see the bumper stickers plastered on the backs of S.U.V.’s reading “7/11: We Will Never Forget”.

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