BLOOD TRANSFUSION

Shake up your horror movie list for Halloween. Break out of the bloody rut your in. We all love John Carpenter’s HALLOWEEN, and Romero’s DEAD series. And of course Sam Raimi’s EVIL DEAD 1 and 2 are super fun. But, come on, let’s be honest, when was the last time you watched one of your many perennial favorites and actually been captivated, much less creeped-out. There comes a time, usually after about the 30th viewing, when a movie loses all meaning and impact; these films that meant so much to you at one time, now seem to blend into the wallpaper like so much black light; the dialogue that once had you hanging on every word, is now just white noise. It’s time for a Blood Transfusion!

Now, it must be said, the films chosen may already be in regular rotation for some of you out there in Halloweenland. But, hopefully this will be fresh flesh for the majority of you willing and able sicko, psycho, sad, disturbed mother humpers thirsting for something new to sink your rotted teeth into.

The Strangers (2008)

This could be, COULD BE, a future classic in the making. And I hesitate, only because there is nothing so presumptive and silly as the critic’s designation of a film as “an instant classic”. It is impossible to predict what time and repeated viewings will do to a film. Lest we forget how critics and fans alike fumbled all over themselves to crown *THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999) a classic horror film even before we could swallow our first dramamine. But hey, who am I to talk, I thought for sure everyone would consider Lucky McKee’s MAY a masterpiece; only to find myself in a cult...again.

THE STRANGERS moves at such a deliberate and calculated pace, it's destined to push an over-stimulated American audience to it's breaking point.

Freaky Folk Music LPs skip-playing on an authentic imitation cherry Hi-Fi console.

The camera tracks through a more-than-familiar Ranch-style house decorated circa 1970.

Woman in peril.

The stage set for a classic Old-School horror show complete with eerie masks and deep-focus camera angles.

Be still my beating heart.

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*As a side note: I, like most people, avoided THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT for years after the massive backlash it suffered. But, recently I watched it again on TV (in High-Def no less), and truth be told, it actually holds up pretty well after all these years; it’s not a bad movie.

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May (2002)

Lucky McKee’s strange and beautiful film has sadly been mostly forgotten since it’s initial release at Sundance caused a stir back in`02. Angela Bettis gives an über performance as May, a girl who may look odd to a cold, cruel world; but she has feelings, and longings, and desires. May falls in love with the particulars of a person; like a person’s hands; eyes; nose. And if given the chance to build a dream lover, wouldn’t we all be chomping at the bits to do so.

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Bug (2006)

Directed by legendary film maker William Friedkin (THE EXORCIST), BUG is a psychological thriller set in a rundown motel in the middle of nowhere; just the kind of place a hard living, damaged woman (Ashley Judd) could be found, and consumed by a Gulf War veteran (Michael Shannon), who may or may not be infected by a deadly insect infestation. Even with Lions Gates’ misleading ad campaign to sell BUG as a horror movie by way of the SAW franchise, the movie did not sell. And it’s all the better for movie lovers, because now this thing can quietly crawl under the skin of some unsuspecting film patron, not knowing what perverse pleasure awaits.

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Frailty (2001)

Actor Bill Paxton directs and stars in this film about a father of two young boys, who is told by God to search out and kill the sinners among us. Written by Brent Hanley, FRAILTY is told mostly from the perspective of the two young boys, and Paxton does a great job of establishing a certain domestic tranquility, even as the boys must work hard to stay above water, the boys idolize their father; which is why when Paxton abruptly awakens the boys one early morning to tell them of the mission God has chosen for them to carry out, it comes as quite a shock. What follows is a series of exquisitely framed stalk and murder scenes, the most disturbing of which involves Paxton using his oldest son as his disciple, to help lure the victims to their eternal rest. Frailty is frightening and thought-provoking; and there are very few horror films you can say that about.

From Wikipedia:

Frailty earned $13,110,448 over its entire domestic run, and received generally positive reviews, with a 76% "Fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Roger Ebert in particular singled it out for praise, giving the film four out of four stars and declaring that "Frailty is an extraordinary work, concealing in its depths not only unexpected story turns but also implications, hidden at first, that make it even deeper and more sad." It has since become something of a cult film.

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The Orphanage (2007)

Simon, like most kids, has imaginary friends, to play with, and to keep company with. And as with most children of overly-protective parents, Simon is constantly being interrogated about his relationship with said friends.

Simon and his Mother and Father have just moved into an enormous and beautiful seaside estate in Spain. Mother Laura has a history with this house, as it once served as an orphanage, an orphanage in which Laura spent her childhood, The Good Shepard Orphanage.

Not long after moving in, Mother and son take a walk down to the beach and discover a very cool cave carved into the rock walls that tower over the ocean side. Soon, the child dashes away from Mother, deep into the dark and mysterious cavern. Mother Laura follows her son’s voice to a shadowy corner deep inside. Simon is speaking in a low, serious whisper to...

Laura quizzes her son. Simon explains these are “new” friends. Laura asks, “Where?”, Simon points to a vanishing point deeper in. Laura looks down and sees little footsteps leading down the narrow passage.

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Inland Empire (2006)

By the time we meet Laura Dern, actress, we have already witnessed three floating disconnected scenes of rabbits performing before a live studio audience, complete with laugh track and applause button; a subtitled scene involving two Polish criminal types; a fuzzy prostitute performing her first job, after which she sits on the edge of a bed crying, while watching the aforementioned Rabbit sitcom on television.

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The Descent (2005)

A wily bunch of good lookin’, fun-lovin’, adventurous gals go on a trek deep into the darkest of forests to find themselves and get lost in the cavernous recesses of earth only to realize they are not alone, but stalked by some slimy, sinewy creatures from black water tribunes and root fingered soil spawned by mother earth. No doubt about it, this is one claustrophobic, chilling, thrilling adventure tale with plenty of jump-out gotcha moments and unrelenting tension.

The Johnny Depp Horror Trilogy

SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999)

If there is such a thing as a perfect film, this is it. Tim Burton took all the ingredients required to turn the great American suburban holiday of Halloween into a self-enclosed world of pumpkin fields and scarecrows; amber and crimson leaves falling among gnarled trees and ominous skies; murder, mayhem, and mystery. This movie is so beautiful to look at, it’s like a painting by Courier and Ives, if Courier and Ives had been dipped in blood , buried alive, and told to paint a landscape. To watch it with the sound off would be an experience all it’s own (though you would miss one of Danny Elfman’s best scores). And last but not least, there’s Christopher Lee for Christ’s sake!

From Hell (2001)

Directed by The Hughes Brothers (MENACE II SOCIETY), adapted by Terry Hayes and Rafael Yglesia from the graphic novel by writer Alan Moore and artist Eddie Campbell, FROM HELL does for the Jack the Ripper mystery what Oliver Stone did for the JFK conspiracy; taking several of the most compelling theories and legends surrounding the saucy serial killer, and building a mesmerizing yarn to further confound and stir the imagination. The Hughes Brothers do a masterful job of re-creating the caustic, down and dirty life in Whitechapel London, Autumn 1888, as envisioned by Moore. But, what really makes FROM HELL so good, like the novel, the film fingers the killer. And hopefully, you have not seen the film or read the graphic novel, and you will be able to experience this film cold. FROM HELL is dark, grimy, violent, gory, scary, surreal, and razor sharp.

Sweeney Todd (2007)

What exactly is blood-curdling? Webster’s definition of curdle: to change into curd; coagulate; congeal. Something so horrifying, so shocking, that one’s blood actually congeals; like the blood-jello that settles beneath a piece of meat that has sat too long in the refrigerator.

Helena Bonham-Carter plays Mrs. Lovett; she owns a meat pie shop on Fleet Street in London. Mrs. Lovett makes “The Worst Pies in London”, and still she encourages Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp) to try one. Sweeney Todd having just come back to London after years in prison was not privy to the baking of the meat pie Mrs. Lovett placed before him, he has no way of knowing whether the cockroach Mrs. Lovett squashed with her rolling pin is contained within the gray-gooey mass oozing from the flaky crust.

But, Sweeney Todd does indeed try the pie, all the while observing the surroundings he once knew as lovely and inviting, now black and bleak.

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Vacancy (2007)

Two pretty movies stars (Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale) check in, but they don’t check out. Well, Beckinsale’s pretty, and maybe they actually do check out. Anyway, as I was saying, Wilson and Beckinsale play a bickering married couple who become stranded in the middle of nowhere. Funny how there always seems to be a ratty motor lodge located in the middle of nowhere. After being teased and prodded by the creepy night manager (played with relish by the fantastic Frank Whaley), the couple agree to risk soiling their LL Bean attire for one night, so long as the car will be fixed tomorrow, and they can continue on in their journey to where ever it is these stranded couples end up after escaping a night of horror. After the couple discovers the video tape in their room is not their favorite episode of Freinds, but rather a snuff film, filmed in the very room they are occupying, the race is on as to who can do the dumbest thing in the shortest amount of time (hint: it’s Wilson). They are soon terrorized by the budding film makers of said snuff film.

For anyone who has stayed in a run down flea bag motel for even one night, the imagination runs wild, and the writer Mark L. Smith took these wild imaginings and turned them into an over the top thriller with plenty of shocks and thrills. VACANCY is just pure, mindless fun; a drive-in movie, or as my old high school chum used to say, “a real pizza-eatin’, beer-drinkin’ movie”.

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Planet Terror (2007)

Even though I wasn’t the biggest fan of Robert Rodriguiz’s “homage” to grindhouse horror movies; I’m going to recommend it, only because I could see, if this thing were on late Halloween night round midnight, 1 am, and yer bloated and belching candy corn and sweet tarts; maybe you’ve had a few beers (or whatever); you get caught up in the blood-splattered spectacle; if for no other reason than to see Jeff Fahey lickin’ the bloody barbecue sauce from his fingers while the legions of the undead are closin’ in.

Oh, and one more, even if it isn't a new movie, it's an underrated classic, and I'll forever recommend it for anyone who hasn't seen it...

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