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It doesn’t pay to plan your own vacation
By Hubbs Kowalski I’ve never read Scott B. Smith’s novel of THE RUINS, but I’m betting it ain’t as one-dimensional as the film it spawned. In a way, that’s a good thing. It’s a fucking killer vine movie. How much back story on the characters do you need? As it is, there’s way too much.
Four nice, lily-white kids on a Mexican resort vacation befriend a German tourist who invites them to visit some Mayan ruins. The German’s brother has gone ahead of them with a lady friend archeologist. Upon arriving, they encounter some Mayan descendents at the ruins who chase them up to the top of the monument and won’t let them leave. The German’s brother and the archeologist are missing, none of their cell phones are working except the German’s and he lost it to the Mayans as a peace offering, but there’s a sound of a ringing cell phone coming up through the excavation hole. What waits below? Well, killer vines.
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Actually, there are killer vines all over the place and they seem to be attracted to blood only, meaning if you don’t bleed around them, you’re fine. However, being it a horror movie, there’s going to be blood.
All in all, THE RUINS is a likable enough film and an antidote to all the serial killer/SAW/HOSTEL clones gutting the market today. Its biggest flaw is the general story. As I said earlier, I haven’t read the book, but the screenplay renders this idea to a MASTERS OF HORROR length or 70 minutes tops. At 90 minutes, it’s obviously padded. And with some nice and surprising nudity by Laura Ramsey, who gets hotter the dirtier and bloodier she gets. Remember when you were guaranteed some titty at any theatrically released R-rated horror movie? Hell, it used to be any theatrically released R-rated movie.
The director, Carter Smith, doesn’t do much visually with the material given to him and that may be part of the problem too. His IMDB resume lists him as a fashion photographer and the director of a gay horror short called “Bug Crush”. This is a big step up for Smith but the filmmaking is pedestrian. He’ll definitely have a long career in episodic teen television. Still, none of my problems with the film should stop you from checking it out. It gets harder and harder to recommend good horror movies nowadays. At least this one is pretty watchable all the way around and has a monster. If you count uneducated believers of ancient third world curses, then there are two monsters.
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