Over The Top Action Fest Makes Me Face Harsh Realities.

by Eric Matthew Harvey

© 2007 New Line Cinema

Release Date: September 7th, 2007Studio: New Line CinemaGenre: Action, Crime, Drama, ThrillerMPAA Rating: RRuntime: 93 minutes

If you’ve read any of my reviews here at American Vulture, you’ll have noticed I don’t care much for movies being made today. Generic stylistic approaches, the inability to properly edit, CGI and terrible actors and actresses are just a few of the reasons.

Then here comes SHOOT ‘EM UP, an action film with actors I like, but a terrible preview.

I don’t care much for previews nowadays either.

I really didn’t want to see this film. Life’s really short. I’ve got piles of movies here at the house I actually want to watch. But it’s got a great cast. And it turns out that Stephen McHattie from Jonathan Kaplan’s MOVING VIOLATION is in it. So I go to a matinee on Saturday.

It starts out all wrong. The film is ugly. When I say ugly, I mean it’s dark and colorless and you begin to wonder why, if today’s filmmakers are going to make movies that are completely devoid of natural color, wouldn’t it make more sense to film these things in black and white?

Ah, but filming in black and white takes actual talent. Lighting for black and white is a true art form, one I believe will be lost sooner than you think.

In addition to this horrendous look, is that annoying use of handheld camera that so many directors use. A tender moment in the film between Belluci and Owen is ruined by this overused technique. In that scene, it looks like a mistake left in the finished film.

Advice for director of SHOOT ‘EM UP, Michael Davis: Get the FRIGGIN’ camera out of the epileptic’s hands and put the GODDAMN thing on a FUCKING tripod!

I don’t care much handheld camera nowadays either.

Now the good thing here is that the beginning of SHOOT ‘EM UP has a lot of neat looking action going on. I think it’s neat. I mean, I can’t really tell.

It’s dark and shaky and edited so quick, it almost seems like somebody’s hiding something.

The movie goes on with some more action. It’s wall-to-wall action. That’s the whole point of the movie. Anti-hero (Clive Owen) is pulled into a good vs. evil struggle with a charismatic villain (Paul Giamatti) that involves a baby, so the anti-hero needs a hooker (Monica Belluci) who’s still lactating from her pregnancy to feed the kid. The villain needs them all dead. Which means lots and lots of action. Ridiculous action.

By the way, I don’t care much for kids nowadays either.

I do like lactating hookers. Especially when they look like Monica Belluci.

All in all the movie is moderately entertaining, but as I sit there in the top row of the large stadium seat auditorium (that’s me, underneath the projector window), my mind wanders to other things. Which is bad, because what that means is that I’d rather be somewhere else because the movie is stylistically annoying me. Which is every GODDAMN movie I end up seeing anymore.

Then the weird thing happens.

I still do like weird things nowadays.

About the middle of the movie, there’s more color. There’s Stephen McHattie. The editing slows down enough to see what’s going on. Now you can tell the action is really good. Things are getting fun. The movie constantly tops itself with goofy action gags that actually work. Even the big CGI parachuting scene is impressive. I’m now thinking about the movie. Which is what any film should aspire for: to please me, even if it’s only me.

I do care about me having been pleased when I spend money nowadays.

It’s interesting how movies work and don’t work for me. It’s even more interesting when it happens within the same movie. But I left wondering who this movie was made for and I realized, it’s not me. It’s for the kids who were my age ten to fifteen years ago.

I do think I would have loved this movie when I was younger. Especially it’s sleaziness.

SHOOT ‘EM UP works if you’re an action fan, especially one between 16 to 25. Any older action fan may find things in it to like (it’s very Hong Kong John Woo influenced, for example), but it’s definitely a product of its time period.

Kind of like how THE LAST BOY SCOUT was in mine, although that’s the best action movie ever made.

And I could use some more LAST BOY SCOUT nowadays.

As well as lactating hookers. The Belluci kind.